Saturday, October 29, 2005

God help us

How stupid are we? can we not see what's going on? (when I say we, I mean the people with those "support the troops" car magnets on their cars and the like). The bush crime family are protecting their oil interests in the middle east not ours, and they are doing it with our kids not theirs. How do we tell people that don't want to be on the stupid side, that they are. I can call the media, they have the means to tell large amounts of people what the evildoers are up to. That our foreign policy has been the problem the whole time. That they are being wrongly misled by this administration. That Iraq did not attack us and cannot attack us. That we did disarm them after they already used the weapons we gave them. Attacking their neighbors for us as we had wanted. That we better do something quick! Will the media come to the rescue and help put a stop to this madness? Inform the people. Or can they have a stake in this illegal war too? We are a country of good people that care about others. This is one world that we all share, not to be controlled by just the rich or the whites or the christians. Lets see, the rich are afraid of having to share, the whites have always conquered wherever they go, and the christians are just plain afraid period (god fearing is what my dad used to call it). Or are we becoming like our leaders (greedy devils)? When bush says that he has a personal relationship with God, I just assume he is referring to his god, Satan, because all his actions appear to be self-serving, murderous and pander to the people whom preach hate. Just as evil would do and is doing. Satan wants to get people behind him, your either with him or against him, no room for thought. O.K. than I am not with them. Does that mean they'll come after me?
Why is it that the symbol for christianity is a device that is used to torture and kill? The crucifix. Is this what motivates them? They even show it off, like their proud of killing people. Hitler also used the christians to seize power, wage war, torture and kill. Is that why bush's grandfather and greatgrandfather financially backed him? which led to their savings and loans companies to be seized by our government for doing business with the enemy. prescott bush and george hurbert walker were very important to fascism in their day, as their offspring are today.
Please God do something about these people that claim you.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

An island of conservatism in a sea of facsism

Our move to Tucson has really been eye opening. Being from San Francisco and moving anywhere else is very different and can be difficult. In San Francisco if you are a Democrat you are on the conservative side, so many people are left of the Democrats, and I think that is good. When I engaged someone in a political conversation, I found it always on the liberal side. If you were to talk about the Right, it was just to criticize the "Idiots". You never really knew any except in the media, all of the media, (the liberal press is a lie, or ignored by so many in America anyway). So here we are new in Tucson at a gay bar and the conversation turns to politics, this guy breaks out in a giggle; "I just love that barbara bush". "Really"? Don't you think she is part of the evil forces behind her son? "No she's so sweet, grandmother like to the country". Her grand daughters call her the enforcer we tell him. Then all hell breaks out. Some one says, ohhhh, you guys are some of them commies. With this Rusty decides to leave it there, but it is too late for me, and I am baffled. "You guys are gay and you're republican? Isn't that like being a jewish nazi"? They have no idea of what I just said, and I realize there is no talking to them as they recite rush limbaugh. O.K. I see. They do not know who Amy Goodman is, or Greg Palest, Bill Moyer? so they seem to be only getting one side, the ignorant side in my opinion. And are happy with that. I decide to ask, don't you believe in gay marriage? The reply is "the country is not ready for that". "How about free blacks? or women voting"? again they have no clue. Another guy makes the claim that killing Iraqis is like killing Germans in WWII. I bit my tongue, but should have said; we are the Germans in this.
Where are we? I thought Tucson was liberal for Arizona? What have we done moving here?
Later this guy comes up, introduces himself to us, and says that he agreed with what we were saying but not to bring it up around here. He didn't want to get involved, there are just too many of them.
We have since met many like minded people here. Tucson does have some Liberals. We now know to feel out a situation first. Like being underground, careful, you never know who might be listening. Scary, this is like Germany, Italy, Spain, Japan in the 1930's (look there coalition was bigger then ours is now). Lately we have met some really nice guys new to Tucson, (neighbors of ours), that are progressive liberals also. They had a similar experience as ours, although they weren't as mortified as I was. They must have met this mindset before, where they came from.
Although we do love it here, it is incredibly beautiful, be sure you know what you are doing when you jump in untested waters.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

I don't remember any of this

This is an email that Rusty sent to a friend just after my release from the hospital, those must have been good drugs! I hope!

Deni,

I thought I would give you an update on Rocko: He was home for one night Thursday to Friday, but was not ready to be home yet. He went back into the hospital on Friday afternoon; Misha and I waited for four hours in the UMC Emergency Room for the readmit. He should be transferred to HealthSouth TMC site for inpatient starting Monday Afternoon. While he was home, he was very agitated although manageable. He was having a problem staying in one place for more than a minute. He was also very unsteady on his feet. I was trying unsuccessfully to get help at TMC over the phone, when Misha offered her assistance. Within about 10 minutes she had the on-call Trauma Doctor on the phone who was part of the team that looked at Rocko. He told Misha Rocko should have gone home with something for agitation and prescribed "ambian" I believe. Misha went and got the prescription. This put him to sleep for about an hour. Then he was up one minute and down the next. He was walking and talking, but dreaming at the same time, saying crazy stuff. At one point I thought he was sleeping; I was setting the alarm in the kitchen for his 3 AM pain pills, when I heard one, then another, loud thud in the master bath. I went running and he had fallen and hit his head on the bathroom towel rack. I had to build a blockade on his side of the bed with chairs and stacked aluminum tumblers to wake me if he tried to get out of bed. Six or seven times in the night he tried to get up and out of bed. A couple of the times were really scary with him up talking, but still in a dream at the same time, and me trying to hold him in bed. He was much worse than I thought, and this is going to be much tougher than I thought! I am really hoping some of what he (we) have been going through are the drugs he is on. His TMC discharge was really rushed, and I was NOT provided any explanation of what to expect or would need to provide. The "in case of problems after hours" part of his discharge papers were not even completed. Thank god for Doctor Misha. She has been unbelievably supportive thought this whole ordeal. I don't know what I would have done Thursday night without her help.

As I said, Rocko should be at the HealthSouth TMC site starting tomorrow evening. He would know who you were if you showed up, and could carry on a conversation with you, but you would know he was still a little off.

The ordeal was on Rusty, I was just there physically not mentally, and do not remember anything. Good for me, not him.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Tile everywhere!

It's been awhile since I sat down at this computer, I have been tiling . A short time after I got my head back, we decided to tile the guest bathroom. It has been a long time in the works. This was a project that I was working on before the accident, and has been on hold for months. Finishing this, I'm sure, will make me feel a little better. My brother lays tile in California, but he did not want to come to Tucson to help, so I thought I would try it, with his help over the phone if I had any questions. After the accident I was not really able to do it so we hired a tile guy. He was a very nice guy, but when I told him that we wanted to tile the whole bathroom he looked at me like I was crazy. " That would be too busy, just around the shower and behind the sink is what people do in the bathroom" he said. Rusty and I told him that we didn't care, tile the whole room. I already knew what tile I wanted ( hand made Mexican tile ), he figured how much was needed, so off to buy it. It cost quite a lot of money, and he said "see". Well it is what it is.
He did do a great job all the way up to the ceiling, it looks really good, but we have boxes and boxes of tile left over, he says he doesn't know where he went wrong! The tile store will not give me money back, but will let me exchange it for other stuff, so we got a new sink and I would tile the counter. I can do that, but what about the excess tile? I know! I will tile the kitchen back-splash. I told him that I was going to do the bathroom, but I didn't feel up to it when I came out of my ordeal, and I have been watching you. He said that I can use his tile saw. I exchanged some tile, and now the kitchen is very colorful. I love it, I did it, but still have tile left over! How much did he buy? Now I am using tile as a trim around some doors in the hall that have no trim. Back to the tile store to pick something that will work, and it looks good too, kind of moorish. It was a great idea. It was Rusty's idea. When I took the last of the excess tile to exchange, the difference was four dollars, ok that is it, no more, YEA.
Now lets see; the bathroom walls, the new sink and counter, the large kitchen back-splash, and hallway trim, wow did he goof! but it was well worth it, and it did cheer me up.